uburyo bwo gushitura umukobwa, akagukunda gose ndetse ukigarurira umutima wiwe

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Ibi abantu bamwe mushobora kumva ko bidashoboka, yamara bisabwa umenye ko mu gihe uhuye n’umukobwa ubwa mbere, uba ufise iminota itarenze itatu yo kumwereka ko ushoboye, naho iyo utanguye kumubwira ibintu bitunvikana ubwiwe ahita abona ko ataco umaze. Iyo umwemeje mu minota itatu ya mbere y’ikiganiro canyu bishobora gutuma aguha ayandi mahirwe yo kuzokongera kumubona canke se harigihe ashobora no kureka kuja muvyo yaragiyemwo kubera uza wamweje muminota 3 ko uri umusore ushoboye.

Happy African American Man & Woman Couple

Nkuko musanzwe mubizi, hano kukinyamakuru ca mberec’abarundi mukunda ndetse gisomwa n’abarundi benshi gikorera muri Leta zunze ubumwe za America ” UBM News ” burigihe tugerageza kubazanira amakuru atandukanye, tutibagiye ayajanye n’urukundo , ubu rero murino nkuru dushaka kubigisha uburyo bwo gutereta umukobwa ukamutwara umutima mu gihe kitarenze iminota itatu.

1. ISUKU: Iminota itatu n’igihe gito cane kuburyo utemerewe kugira ikosa na rito ukora kiretse nimba uwo mukobwa utamukeneye! Rero ugomba kubanza ukitegura, ukambara neza impuzu ihanaguye, ukamugera imbere ufise isuku ntampwemu mbi mu kanwa zikuvamwo, ikirato wambaye bisabwa kibe gisa neza ndetse kizimvye, nimba uba hano muri America ndibaza urazi ibirato bigezweho nka ( Nike,Jordan, hamwe n’ibindi ). Iki rero n’ikintu gikomeye cane , nongere ndabisubiremwo kandi ugomba kugira isuku. Akenshi Iyo ubajije abakobwa uti:” iyo uravye umusore nikihe kintu ca mbere ubona kikwereka ko ari mwiza?” Bamwe bakubwira amaso, abandi inseko, yamara baba babesha kuko burya ikintu ca mbere gishitura abakobwa ni imyambarire ( ukuntu umuntu aba yamambaye ), Kandi burya umusore agomba guhorana isuku, niyo woba uri murugo wenyene ugomba kuba woze usa neza kuko burya ntiwomenya uwokugwaho, ikindi kintu tugomba kwemeranyaho nuko iyo umuntu yambaye neza afise isuku, asa neza, nawe ubwiwe bimwongerera icizere ( Confident ) ubwo rero iyo ufise isuku amasegonda 30 arahagije kugira ngo umukobwa atangure gukururwa n’uwo musore abonye azi kwiyitaho.

black-couple-first-date

2. UKUNTU WITWARA: Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko 87% bw’ivyo umuntu avuga bigaragazwa n’umubiri wiwe mu tumenyetso (Body language ), Uburyo rero ugenda ndetse n’ uburyo unyeganyegamwo, uburyo uzunguzamwo ibiganza, uburyo utwaramwo isura yawe, uburyo ugendagendamwo uja hirya ugaruka hino vyose bisabwa uvyitwwaremwo neza . Hari abasore baganiriza umukobwa bamwegereye cane amazuru ahakwa no gukoranaho kandi biba bishobora kumutera ubwoba canke isoni, Ibi vyose rero bishobora kukugaragaza uko utari kandi nta n’ijambo na rimwe uravuga.

Hari ibintu bitatu bikomeye ugomba kwitaho cane icambere (1) Kumuvugisha umuraba mu maso nturabe ku ruhande canke hasi kandi ntuvuge ibintu bitagira umutwe n’amaguru, mu gihe uvuga kandi bisabwa wirinde kumuraba mu gituza (Ku mabere). Kuganiriza umukobwa umuraba mu maso bimwereka ko wifitiye icizere kandi ko umwitayeho. (2) Ugasohora ijwi neza ntuvuge umaramara canke ufite ikiniga ijwi ridasohoka, bisabwa uvuge ijwi ry’umusore ushitse kuko nugera imbere y’inkumi ugatangura kuvuga akajwi gato nk’akumukobwa canke k’umwana uzatuma aturika aguseke ivyari gutereta bihinduke ibitwenge. Sinkubwiye ngo uzovuge urujwi nk’urwa ( RAMBO ) ariko uzogerageze uvuge witonze ijwi risohoka neza, ( 3 ) kurenzamwo akantu gatwenza kandi ukamwereka ko wishimye bituma abonako uri umwana mwiza ntihagire ikibi agukekera.

couple1

3. IVYO UGOMBA KUVUGA: Ubu nokubwira ko, nimba ufise isuku, ukaba witwara neza n’ibimenyetso wabikosoye, 60% y’ibisabwa umaze kuvyuzuza mu gihe c’umunota umwe. Hasigaye iki rero, Ubwo hasigaye iminota ibiri yo gutereta umukobwa ukamutwara umutima wiwe wose ataco usigaje. Iminota ibiri isigaye kugira ngo uyikoreshe neza nuko wirinda bwa buryo busanzwe bwa nta kigenda bwo kuvugavuga no kumubaza ibintu bitagira umutwe n’amaguru . Ubu tugiye gukoresha ya karata bita ” jokeri ” niyo mahirwe ya nyuma igiye gudufasha kwigarurira umutima w’umukobwa ;; icambere mutwengere umuraba mu maso niwarangiza umuramutse umubwire uti:” Muraho! je nitwa…(Umubwire izina ryawe)”… Urindire gato ko akubwira izina ryiwe niwumva ataco avuze umubaze uti:”None se wewe witwa nde?” Maze azohita arikubwira kuko ntamukobwa yanka kuvuga izina ryiwe .

Aha rero hakurikiraho igice gikomeye cane kigufasha kumushitura ukamutwara umutima, kuko ivyo ugomba kumubwira vyose ugomba kubimubwira umuvuga mw’izina, ugomba gusubiramwo izina ryiwe igihe cose bibaye ngombwa. akarorero nimba akubwiye ko yitwa Angel. Uragira ati:”Angel, eeh mbega akazina keza nkakabamarayika. Angel, biranshimishije kukumenya.” Ahasigaye ugahita ushaka akandi kantu keza womubwira kamwerekeyeho. Ushobora kumubwira uti:” Angel nukuri wambaye neza, waberewe, wambaye amahereni meza, ufise agashakoshi keza, utwenga neza, ufise amaso meza”, n’utundi tujambo twiza two kumuryosharyosha ariko icitonderwa ntugomba kubimubwira umubesha ahubwo ugomba gufata akanya gato ukamwitegereza ukaraba ikintu kidasanzwe yoba yambaye canke umubonako akaba arico umubwira.

Mid adult couple lying on bed --- Image by © moodboard/Corbis

Urangije rero ushaka akandi kantu womubwira nkakarorero ukavuga uti:”Urazi se Angel, ndakubonye mbona uri umukobwa utandukanye n’abandi mpita nshaka kuza kumva ijwi ryawe, niko kuza kukuvugisha none numvise ufise ijwi ryiza cane gose .” (Ukibuka kumubwira utwenga kandi umuraba mu maso), Ubwo igikurikiraho nukumubaza utubazo tworoshe dutandukanye uti:”Mbese Angel, waje gukora iki hano, waje kuraba nde, ese ugiye he, uvuye he, ukora hano?” Mbese umubaza ushaka kumenya impamvu ari aho muhuriye. Gusa uritonda cane ukirinda kubaza amenyo y’inkoko uraba umunwa ” Hari umusore waha muri America aherutse guhurira n’umukobwa mubugeni, arangije aramubaza ati ese hano waje mubiki ? Umukobwa yamusubizanye umujinya mwinshi ati : ariko wewe ntamaso ufise kuburyo utamenya icatuzanye hano ? kweli ibiguhu ntaho bibuze ! ubwo rero Nawe imbere yo kubaza ibibazo manza witonde , ntuhave umubaza ivyo ufitiye inyishu.

Niyamara kugusubiza uzohite umubwira uti:”Ni vyiza Angel, biranshimishije kuganira nawe gusa vyorushaho twongeye kuvugana rero ndaguha nomero yanje nawe umpe iyawe noneho tuje twiganirira , nibiba ngombwa tuzokongere guhura tuganire bihagije” (Ukibuka gutwenga no kumuraba mu maso.) niyaguha i nomere yiwe mukuzandika uzozandike wishimye kugira bimwereke ko urumuntu wipfuza kuganira nawe, Ugomba kwishiramwo ko amahirwe yo kugira ngo akwemere ari 100%, kandi wibuke gukurikiza izi nama zose nguhaye, niwishinga ivyo gutwenga gusa no kwanika amenyo umukobwa azogukubita ikidobo umaramare,mubana hoho uzomaramara bimwe birenze ariko nukurikiza izi nama zose nanka kukubesha umukobwa azogukunda ndetse uzomwigarurira umutima wiwe wose.