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Ibintu bidasanzwe wokorera umukunzi wawe bikamwereka ko umukunda vyukuri (Igice ca kabiri)

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Mu gice cya mbere cy’iyi nkuru isobanura ibintu wakora mu kugaragariza uwo mwashakanye ko umukunda nyabyo, twari twagarutse ku mbaraga z’amagambo yo gushima mu kubaka urukundo rw’abashakanye. (SOMA IGICE CYA MBERE HANO: Ibintu wakora mu kugaragariza uwo mwashakanye ko umukunda nyabyo (Igice cya mbere). Muri iki gice cya kabiri turareba izindi ngingo za ngombwa mu kubaka urukundo n’imibanire myiza hagati y’abashakanye.

Uretse amagambo yo gushimira hagati y’abashakanye, ikindi cy’ingenzi ku bashakanye ni ukuvuga amagambo meza kandi ukanamenya kuyavuga mu buryo bwiza, ukagenzura uririmi rwawe mu gihe ubwira uwo mwashakanye kuko abashakanye ari ngombwa kuvugana amagambo yuzuye urukundo, ari nayo mpamvu ubanza kugenzura amagambo ugiye kubwira mugenzi wawe kandi n’uburyo ugomba gukoresha mu kuyamubwira ukabwitondera kuko akenshi iyo utabyitondeye bishobora kugabanya ikigero cy’urukundo uwo mwashakanye agukunda cyangwa se bikagusenyera.

Burya hari amagambo amwe ariko asobanurwa mu buryo butandukanye bitewe n’uburyo uyavuzemo. Urugero uvuze ngo Ndagukunda undi akavuga ngo Ndakwikundira, bijya gusobanura kimwe ariko ubibwirwa abona ko kimwe kirimo akarusho.

Ikindi kandi amagambo avuzwe mu ijwi ryo hejuru cyangwa se amagambo agaya ntabwo agaragaza urukundo ahubwo aba yerekana kumucira urubanza cyangwa kumwereka ko yaciye inka amabere. Uburyo uvuga ubwira umugabo wawe cyangwa umugore wawe biba ari ngenzi cyane. Bibliya itubwira ko “amagambo yoroheje yegizayo uburakari”.

Mu gihe umugabo wawe cyangwa umugore wawe yarakaye cyangwa afite ibyamutesheje umutwe (stress), ntukamwongerere umuriro ahubwo mubwize ijwi ryoroheje. Kandi niba hari icyo wakoze kibi kuri we, biragusaba kumusaba imbabazi kandi ukabyihana ubwawe ukanatera intambwe yo kumwegera ukamusaba imbabazi utitaye ku cyubahiro cyawe kuko ikiba kigamijwe ni ukurangiza icyo kibazo ntabwo ari ukwerekana uko wowe ubibona. Ibyo nibyo byerekana gukura mu rukundo.

Urukundo ntabwo rugarura amakosa yashize kuko nta n’umwe umeze nka malayika. Muri buzima bw’abashakanye ntabwo igihe cyose dukora ibintu neza cyangwa mu buryo bwiza, ntabwo dushobora gusiba ibyashize ahubwo kimwe dushobora gukora ni ukwihana kandi tukemera ko atari byiza tugahanga amaso iby’ahazaza. Dushobora gusaba imbabazi kandi tukagerageza gukora ibitandukanye n’ibyashize mu gihe kiri imbere. Iyo umwe ahisemo ubutabera (Justice) kandi agashaka ko yisyhurwa ibyo yakorewe urukundo ruba rubaye ikidashoboka.

Iyo umwe ahisemo kubabarira mugenzi we, urukundo rurakomeza kandi rukongera rukabyuka. “Kubabarira niyo nzira urukundo runyuramo”. Hari imvugo cyangwa intekerezo zigaragaza uko kutihangana no kutababarira, izo zikaba zisenya urugo mu buryo bworoshye.

Muri izo twavugamo: ”Siniyumvisha ukuntu wabikoze, ndumva ntazabyibagirwa, ntushobora kumva uko wambabaje, Sinshobora gukomeza kubana nawe nibikomeza gutya; N’iyo wampfukamira gute sinzi ko nshobora kukubabarira…”

Ayo magambo yose ntabwo ari amagambo y’urukundo, ikintu cy’ingenzi kandi cyiza ni ukureka ibyo byakubabaje bibi bikaba amateka. Nibyo byarabaye kandi byarakubabaje kandi biracyakubabaza ariko icy’ingenzi ni ukubisabira imbabazi kandi ugatanga izo mbabazi.

Nk’uko nabivuze haruguru ntushobora gusiba ibyashize ariko ushobora kubyemera nk’amateka ntukomeze kubyubakiraho. Dukeneye guhitamo kubaho uyu munsi tubohotse kubyo twakoze ejo hashize. Kubabarira ntabwo ari uko wiyumvamo cyangwa umerewe ahubwo KUBABARIRA nicyo usabwa gukora nk’uko ijambo ry’Imana ribivuga. Ni uguhitamo kwerekana impuhwe ntabwo ari ukugumana ibyo wakorewe ubikoresha mu guhangana n’uwabigukorereye.

Kubabarira ni uburyo bwo kwerekana urukundo ugira uti: (Ndagukunda , I love you, Je t’ aime, Nakupenda.) bishaka kuvuga ngo “Nkwitayeho kandi mpisemo kukubabarira, ntabwo nzongera kwemera ko bigaruka kuri twe, ndizera ko ibi bitubayeho tuzabyigiraho, ntabwo waciye inka amabere kubera biriya byatubayeho. Uri umutware wanjye cyangwa se uri umufasha wanjye kandi twese tugiye gukora urugendo rushya duhereye hano”

Iri jambo muritegurirwa kandi mukarigezwaho na Rev./Ev. Eustache Nibintije, Umunyeshuri wa Patriots Bible University yo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika.

Tel: +14128718098
Email: estachenib@yahoo.com

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